


Friday the 13th

by MistressOfObscurity



Category: The Thick of It (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, I'm sure something happened at the Party Conference, Implied Sexual Content, Nothing Goes to Plan, Superstitious Nicola, Until it does
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-04 12:23:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21197609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressOfObscurity/pseuds/MistressOfObscurity
Summary: Nicola has an important speech to deliver in regards to a new social mobility policy. Unfortunately, the lead up is anything but ideal. However, it seems that for once she has Malcolm on her side...





	1. Friday Morning

**Author's Note:**

> So I started writing this leading up to Friday the 13th of September because some part of my brain thought that Nicola might be a bit superstitious, whereas Malcolm would think it was completely fucking ridiculous. I haven't thought through all the details as throughly as I'd like but it's set sometimes after Eastbourne but before the next episode.

From the moment Nicola woke up she knew she was going to have a less than brilliant day. To begin with her alarm hadn’t gone off, so she was forced to rush things even more than usual.

Today was an important day for Nicola. She’d finally been given the green light from treasury (and more importantly Malcolm) to announce an initiative that would hopefully allow for greater social mobility. It one of the big reasons Nicola had got involved in politics in the first place. While this was a great opportunity, Nicola was acutely aware of how much pressure she was under, not only from Malcolm and the PM but also from herself. She had a list in her head of all the reasons she really _couldn't_ stuff this up.

At least Malcolm had been relatively helpful this time, actually giving her advice and helping with her speech rather than just yelling at her. That said, he had dictated on pain of ripping her tonsils out with a rusty metal hook that she was not to wear anything loud, which Nicola took to mean, wear grey.

She quickly made herself a cup of tea but managed to scold her hand from overfilling the cup causing her to swear under her breath.

In the end Nicola was in such a hurry and wanted to make absolutely sure she wasn’t late that she left James to deal with everything for the kids. He’d started to complain but before he could properly get started Nicola had bid her family farewell and rushed out of the house.

The traffic was absolute hell. Apparently there’d been some sort of road incident. Nonetheless, there was no way Nicola was going to get the tube. She’d rather be bollocked for being late that put herself through the claustrophobia she would suffer from getting the tube.

When she finally arrived at DoSAC Ollie was there to greet her, if you could call it something that civilized. He’d probably been placed there to distract her from whichever fuckup had already occurred.

“Hi Nicola, you’re a bit later than-“ Ollie began.

“Yes, yes I know there was some kind of road incident so the traffic was even worse than usual.”

“Ah I see… “ As they started walking up the stairs Ollie launched into what had been was in the papers. “There’s not much new going on in the papers except erm… Well a bit of general criticism of the department…”

“Brilliant.” Nicola replied flatly.

“Well I mean they don’t really mention you so much, I mean it’s not too bad really…”

“What is it then?”

“Well,_‘The Mail_’ has written a piece about the unclear parameters of the department’s policy coverage talking about the how what this department stands for is a bit … vague. Also the inevitability of more data loss incidents because not enough changes have been made to the current systems in place.”

“Great.” Nicola sighed.

“I’ve got the big policy speech and launch today. If I that goes well, with any luck the media will concentrate on that instead. We will just have to sit on this for now. Get Terri onto it.”

“Um, yes, about that… Terri has called in sick.” Ollie muttered his voice getting more hesitant as he spoke.

“Sick? Seriously, she has to be sick today?! I bet she’s off visiting her fucking sister or something. Get Robyn onto it then.”

“Right.”

* * *

Nicola was in her office looking over her speech when Robyn tentatively entered.

“Hi Nicola, I’ve got you some breakfast and some tea, lemon zinger?”

“Yes, thanks Robyn.”

“Also, Malcolm’s on his way up.”

“What, now?” Robyn nodded in response. 

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!”

“Well you looked busy and I didn’t want to disturb you unless it was something really important.” Robyn countered.

“Malcolm being in the building when I’m not expecting him yet is definitely worth disturbing me about!” Just then through the open door she heard the familiar Scottish accent

“Where’s Glummy Mummy?” Malcolm called cheerfully. Nicola on the other hand swore.

“Right ok, Robyn I need you to-“

“What’s going on in here?” Malcolm interrupted as he casually strolled into her office as if it were his own. His eyes were immediately drawn to the croissants, fruit salad and tea in front of Nicola.

“Morning Malcolm I’m just-“

“So this is where tax payer funds are going, paying you to fucking eat all day? Why don’t you make yourself more comfortable, put your feet up, it’s not like you’ve got anything else to get on with except… Oh, I don’t know… An important press conference to prepare for!” At this point Robyn had enough sense to leave the office while Nicola yelled straight back at Malcolm.

“Yeah well I’m sorry but not all of us can survive on a diet of satsumas, Fanta, curly wurlies and coffee!”

“That doesn’t mean you should be eating fancy fucking mini almond croissants and pains au chocolats.”

“What so now you’re telling me what I can and can’t eat?”

“It’s like with that fucking throne you had when you first came here instead of a chair, yeah? Just eat something relatively normal. I realise must be a struggle for you seeing as-“ Nicola didn’t want to hear more abuse hurled at for the moment so interrupted him

“Whatever Malcolm, look I was actually working too, I’m looking over my speech for today.” Malcolm paused and looked down and scratched his neck before looking at her again and saying

“Yeah look, about your speech, we’re going to have to change it a bit.” He said avoiding eye contact with Nicola.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! This is ridiculous. I mean for fucks sake Malcolm, _you_ helped write it.”

“Easy come easy go! Look, shit happens and you have to adapt, yeah?”

“You’re going to completely change it aren’t you? Jesus Malcolm I’ve been practicing it, I was nearly ready, you can’t just go and change the whole thing!”

“Relax Nicola, it’s going to be fine!” She raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips slightly to express her doubt.

“I’m not going to change it that much.” Nicola expression changed to a glare.

"Why do you have to change it at all? You're always messing me around Malcolm I don't understand why. Like at the bloody party conference when I had to change a huge part of my speech because of the whole fuckup with Julie."

“The original speech was from days ago Nicola, in the time since then things have fucking changed. By the way you could be a little bit more grateful that I've helped write this for you rather than letting you go fucking solo on this because let me tell you the consequences then would've been absolutely cata-fucking-strophic." 

"It's great to know that you've got so much confidence in me." Nicola remarked sarcastically.

"Yeah yeah well I wonder why I wouldn't have much confidence in you after all the fucking fiascos I've had to deal with!" Nicola couldn't deny that there was some truth to that statement but she wasn't going to let Malcolm get away with this easily either. 

"Some of which you helped to fucking create! I still believe that the whole 'I am bent' thing was down to you at some level..." She'd brought that up before and knew she wasn't going to get a comment out of him about that other than calling her paranoid and in need of therapy. Instead of continuing with their argument, which she knew wasn't going to go anywhere now, Nicola accepted that she would have to learn a new speech in a few hours. However, as Malcolm had created this whole situation Nicola was a going to make sure that he was completely on her side today and helped her rather than just shout. 

"If you've rewritten this speech and you want it to go exactly as you want it you are staying here until I get it right and you're going to be helpful about it, deal?"

"Fine, I’ve got it on a USB I’ll go and print it for you now and then we can go over it together, right?” When Malcolm had finished what he had to say and walked toward the door of the office Nicola asked him

“Is there anything else I should know?” This caused Malcolm stop and turn around in the doorway. He took a moment to observe Nicola, his expression brightening, before quietly adding

“Yeah, you’re looking lovely in that dress.” He smiled briefly then exited before Nicola could respond. God she hated how he did that. He'd say something that he knew she’d want to respond to only as he left the room. This meant she had to make a split second decision as to whether or not to follow him to continue the conversation in a hushed voice because she didn't want the others to hear. Fuck him. This time she let him leave as she sat at her desk slightly stunned for a moment. Nicola tried to ignore how her stomach felt like it had just done a backflip, she was almost certainly blushing. This was the same dress she’d worn to the conference in Eastbourne…While it was well known that what happened at the Party Conference, stayed at the Party Conference, knowing Malcolm, that probably didn't apply...

She was brought back to reality by the shouting of

“What the fuck do you mean the printers aren’t working??!!" It was difficult to believe the last thing he'd said had been a compliment to her when he switched moods so quickly. She didn't dwell on that thought for long. Even though it was in no way her fault that the printers weren't working she knew that it would be her fault if she messed up her speech. If she even had one to do that is… She walked out of her office to see Malcolm yelling at Ollie.

“You had better get this printed out somehow in the next 5 minutes or I will remove your fucking intestines and use them as an avant-garde fucking scarf.” 

“I don’t think a scarf can really be avant-garde Malcolm-“

“How badly do you want to find out you Oxbridge cunt?” He shouted raising a pen as he might a knife about to stab someone. Ollie ran off in search for some way to print Nicola’s speech while Malcolm got out his phone and called Sam.

* * *

A little while later Ollie’s innards were still intact and Nicola was reading through her new and improved speech with Malcolm. It wasn’t going very well as Malcolm was constantly interrupting with suggestions and improvements. Once they finally moved past the first page Nicola had given herself a paper cut on the same hand that she scolded with hot tea early that morning.

Half way through her phone rang. She tried to ignore it but Malcolm was getting annoyed by the noise,

“For fucks sake, just answer it Nicola.”

She answered and it turned out it was her son’s school calling. After a lengthy conversation during which Malcolm appeared to be getting rather impatient it became apparent that her youngest had sprained or possibly broken his arm and that someone needed to pick him up. Nicola gave the school assurance that someone would be there as soon, though she wasn’t quite sure how likely that was. She was busy and she didn't want to think about what excuse James would make for not being able to go.

As soon as she finished the call she put her head in her hands. She had no idea what to do now. 

“Fuck.” Although she couldn’t see him Malcolm's response sounded genuinely concerned.

“What is it Nicola?”

“I, I don’t know what to do. My son’s possibly broken his arm, someone has to pick him up and I just know James will find some sort of excuse to get out of it but I need to get this speech right and get to wherever the press conference and launch is and-“ She stopped when she felt Malcolm’s hand on her. He rubbed her arm with a gentleness she’d didn’t normally associate with him. It was only when they were alone that he seemed to show more humanity and kindness toward her. Physical contact as a way to calm down meant a lot to Nicola as she it was something that happened so rarely these days. She appreciated the gesture from Malcolm, they’d come a long way together since she had first started at DoSAC and were both more comfortable with each other.

“Hey Nicola, listen, it’s going to be ok. We’ve got plenty of time to sort things out.” She wasn't really to be listening to him, she was immersed in her own thoughts and worries. Malcolm slowly and carefully moved a hand to under her chin and gently encouraged her to look at him. Slowly she lowered her hands and for a moment their eyes locked, they just stared at one another and it felt like time had slowed or even stopped. They were both acutely aware of the fact that they hadn't looked at each other in this way since Eastbourne, nor had they been in such close physical proximity.

The moment was broken by Nicola’s outburst of more worries. 

“Today’s just getting worse as it goes on. I’ve got enough to deal with as it is, I really want this speech to go well but I have to look after my son, he’s only 5 and I don’t want to have to deal with James because he’ll just be a twat-" Malcolm interrupted 

“If there was anyone that was going to be affected by any of this Friday the 13th bullshit it was going to be you wasn’t it?” Malcolm thought out loud but regretted it as soon as the words had left his mouth.

“What?” Nicola said looking up panic etched in her face. “Oh shit! I bet that’s why this is all happening! Fuck, why am I doing a speech today? It’s going to be a disaster now I just know it!”

“Nicola. Nicola, come on be reasonable. I was just fucking joking." It was too late her mind was whirling at one hundred miles an hour going over everything bad that had happened today. Malcolm's voice cut through

"You can’t actually believe in that bullshit, it’s just superstitious wank.” Malcolm could tell by this point that she wasn't listening properly.

“Malcolm, look at what’s been happening! Everything is going to shit. I burnt myself, got stuck in heaps of traffic, had the press shit on this department, had to put Robyn in charge of communications, the printers don’t work, I got a paper cut on my burnt hand and my son has broken his arm. Don’t tell me it’s a coincidence!”

“Nicola the world throws shit us every fucking day! Some days are worse than others but it’s not because of the fucking date alright?” Although he was nearly shouting there was no malice in his voice. Nicola took particular note of the fact Malcom had said ‘we’, it made her feel like there were in this together for once. Through all the thoughts swirling through her head, Nicola distinctly noticed that Malcolm was holding onto her arm more tightly now while his thumb rubbed in circular motion against her bare skin.

“Well, either way today isn’t going well...” she didn’t sound entirely convinced but pressed on nonetheless. "So what should we do?” she sighed.

“Ok, he’s what we do. You need to get on the phone with your husband and see what you can organise. I’ll see if there’s a way I can get us any more time before your speech. We are going to complete reverse the rest of the day. It’s going be fucking fantastic. We will make Friday the 13th a lucky day for you. Right?"

“Yes, alright then.” She sounded rather half-hearted about it.

"You can fucking do this Nicola!" Malcolm mustered all the energy and fire he could into those words and Nicola responded in kind 

"Yes, yes I fucking can!"

“That’s the spirit! You’re going to be ok Nicola.” Again he gave her a rare smile.

As Nicola waited for James to answer she noticed Malcom watching her intently. She looked at him and his eyes went back to his phone and he made to leave the office as he started making calls.


	2. The Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm interrupts Nicola's phone call to James. It gets into how Nicola and Malcolm feel about each other and their lives.I was trying to keep this simple but it hasn't worked. I hope you enjoy it anyway...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been an age since I last posted anything here but I'm back now!  
Thank you to FlorenceVassy for inspiring me to get my shit together and post this.  
I should be doing other writing but this wouldn't let me rest so I had to update before I could get anything else done.

Malcolm had managed to push the press conference back by an hour, which would hopefully give Nicola more time to sort things out. As he walked toward her office, he overheard her phone conversation with her husband.

“James you absolutely HAVE to go now it’s getting late ... I called you four times, you should’ve answered your phone sooner! ... There is _no way_ for me to be clearer than that... I don’t care who you’re meeting or where you are it is NOT more important than our son!” She stated as calmly as she could. Unfortunately, this was quite far from calm and Malcolm knew she wasn’t far off losing it at her bastard of a husband if he continued to refuse her. It surprised and worried Malcolm that he noticed something like about her. He was astonished to find that in that moment, he actually cared about what she was going through. In the back of his mind he knew that ever since Eastbourne he had started to notice and care more about her, but he tried not to dwell on that.

It couldn’t be denied that Malcolm did some rather questionable things (to say the least) in his professional/ work life. However, the people who thought that his vitriolic attitude extended to out of work issues were mistaken. As far as personal problems went, he only concerned himself with those of the PM, and even then he maintained as much distance as he could. He did his job and that was that. The less he had to get emotionally invested the better. Unfortunately, with Nicola he found it was much more challenging. He knew her work life was characterised by regular fuckups from her department. Although it had to be said this was due in part to her lack of experience as well as general incompetence. Her home life was another matter. Perhaps it was because the two had become so intertwined that Malcolm felt he ought to take an interest in the latter. Of course this knowledge and curiosity were purely professional, necessary even, or so he told himself. Goodness knows the problems that would’ve arisen if he had allowed Nicola to send Ella to an independent school. What Malcolm hadn’t foreseen was the wrath he felt toward Nicola’s husband. In this case it was for giving her a hard time about something that she could not have foreseen or prepared for. Malcolm was well aware that had this been a purely political matter he would’ve bollocked Nicola. In politics you always had to expect the unexpected but in relation to families, Malcolm knew this wasn’t the case.

This wasn’t politics, the party or the press anymore. It was about Nicola’s family, the one thing she didn’t want her political life to interfere with. Despite that and against Malcolm’s better judgment, he knew he was going to get involved. He didn’t want Nicola to put up with anyone other than him giving her a hard time. Malcolm believed that she put up with more than enough shit during the working day to have to deal with much more at home. Furthermore, her husband should support and care for her much more than he did. Driving Nicola to the edge of tears just wasn’t the right thing to do to your wife. Fuck, she deserved so much better. However, Malcolm knew that if she divorced her husband now, the media would destroy her and that wouldn’t help anything. An affair often had even more dire consequences, though that very much depended who was involved…but seeing as Nicola was a female cabinet Minister with four kids, it could get nasty pretty quickly.

Malcolm had made up his mind. If he could make a difference, even just this once, he’d do it. Nicola had not a good morning thus far and alleviating at least one stress for her would be prudent. It was in a purely professional capacity that he was taking an interest of course because it would help her with her speech later on. If there was anything else to it he wasn’t thinking about it. With that decided Malcolm grabbed the phone off Nicola.

“Malcolm, what the fuck are you doing?!!” Nicola yelled, anger and stress clear in her voice.

He signaled for her to shut up. She was reluctant to do so and began mouthing expletives at him.

“Hey James I just-”

There was a pause and Nicola was certain her husband was ranting at Malcolm.

This was confirmed by Malcolm’s facial expression moments later. Nicola’s initial reaction had been that of anger, she didn’t need or want Malcolm getting involved with James. She took a few deep breaths. Why was Malcolm getting involved anyway? Surely this was futile? It would only put both of them both in a bad mood. However, if Nicola was honest, she couldn’t suppress the feeling of nervous excitement at the fact Malcolm was about to bollock James for once instead of her. When Malcolm’s response came it was much quieter than Nicola had anticipated but somehow that made it all the more frightening.

“How dare you. How fucking dare you say something like that about your own wife. You should have nothing but _respect_ for her because she’s doing her fucking best and I don’t want to have to hear some crooked, corrupt, unappreciative fucking bastard like you, who clearly doesn’t give a shit about his own kids saying otherwise. If I ever hear or suspect that you have repeated the shit you’ve just said to anyone _ever_ again, I will tear your fingernails out one by one by one and use them to cut out your fucking tongue. Do you understand?! Now go and pick up your son and _look after him. _Then you can skulk back to your useless existence, you pathetic fucking _twat_.”

With that Malcom hung up. Nicola wasn’t sure what she’d expected but it wasn’t that. Malcolm telling James to fuck off was one thing, but Malcolm standing up for her and her kids was another. Especially seeing as he’d practically forced Ella into the Comprehensive. What on Earth had James said to warrant such a reaction?

Nicola stood there, lost for words while staring incredulously at Malcolm. Since when did he deal with Minister’s personal issues? More specifically, since when did he back her up with anything in her personal life? It took a little while but Nicola managed to form words again.

“What did he say?” Malcolm didn’t answer.

“Malcolm?” Nicola was getting slightly worried. It was very unlike Malcolm to be this quiet. He handed her phone back to her silently but didn’t meet her gaze.

“You don’t want to know what he said Nicola.” Nicola just laughed in response. The whole situation was absurd. Malcolm was acting as if he actually cared about her family situation after he’d indirectly caused countless problems.

“Malcolm he’s my husband, do you really think I can’t deal with him? I’ve been with him for over 16 years for goodness sake!”

Malcolm shook his head. Why the fuck had she spent so long with him?

“If this is what you normally have to deal with then you shouldn’t because it’s not ok.” He was still deep within his own thoughts. If she wanted a straight answer she’d have to snap him out of this first.

“Just tell me what happened, I’m sure it’s not _that_ bad.” Malcolm didn’t reply.

“I can deal with it Malcolm, for fucks sake, I bollocked by you every other day!”

“I’m not your husband though, I’d never say things like that to you if we were married!”

Nicola raised her eyebrows.

“Why would we be married Malcolm?” That seemed to snap Malcolm out of his thoughts once and for all.

“For fucks sake, that’s not the point! I’m just saying that I’d never treat a woman like that if we were in a relationship, married or not.”

“If _we_ were in a relationship?” Neither of them met the other’s eye. If Nicola blushed at all Malcolm was unaware as he wasn’t terribly comfortable either. He hastily added

“I didn’t mean ‘_we’_ in the sense of _you and I _Nicola.” Malcolm vaguely gesticulated between them.

“I meant I wouldn’t say things like that to a woman.”

“You say some pretty awful things to me.” Nicola said icily and glared at Malcolm accusingly.

That set him off. All he was trying to do was stand up for her for once and now she was coming out with all this shit about relationships and the things he had every right to say to her when she fucked up.

“Right, do you want _me_ to tell you what your bent husband said because I say such horrible things anyway? Maybe it’d better match the dreadful person everyone around here thinks I am? Hey, maybe it’d convince you that _I_ am the shit person here. You’ll be free to go back to Genuine James the Gentleman tonight and tell him that it’s all brilliant and tickety fucking boo between you two because you didn’t hear _him_ say anything nasty! No, you just heard it all from _Malcolm_ and that makes it all fucking fine!” He shouted while gesticulating wildly. Nicola didn’t stand for that and yelled right back.

“For fucks sake Malcolm, if you must know I’d rather hear you say it because you won’t yell it at me and I won’t yell back at you and have a massive argument. It won’t be noisy; it won’t disturb the kids who have enough to put up with without being kept awake or woken up by their parents fighting over something pathetic. Plus, I won’t be accused of being completely out of touch with everything going on in my family life, even if that’s true! Yes, I could blame you for that but that wouldn’t be right or fair because it’s not your fault I can’t figure out how to manage my time.” Nicola ranted while Malcolm remained silent avoiding eye contact.

“Besides which, when I get home, I’ll have to hear it all from James. At least this way I’ll be prepared and won’t rise to anything he has to say.” She took a deep breath before adding

“I know you say some horrible stuff to me, but I also know that you care about the Party and you’re trying to do what’s best. I know you’re not always bollocking people and I don’t want you to ever think I believe what people like Ollie say about you. You’re still a human being and I appreciated what you just did. Please don’t try to protect my feelings from whatever James has said because there’s nothing you can do on that front. He’s my husband and I have to deal with what happens between us.”

Malcolm hadn’t realised the extent to which Nicola’s private life was fucked until then. Sure, he knew things were far from perfect but despite his curiosity and prying, he felt he had misjudged the situation. Nicola was a lot stronger than a lot of people, including himself gave her credit for.

Reluctantly, Malcolm began to speak again. Though he hated to admit it, Nicola was right and she needed to know what was going on.

“He said that you’re never there for the kids and that you don’t care about your family. Reckons his sister and your mum see the kids more than you do these days. He’s sick of having to do work for the kids and drive them around, it sounds like if he had it his way he’d do fuck all… That said he is going to pick up your son, or at least he’d better… He seems to take issue with your mother for some reason I don’t fully understand… He claims that your work takes up too much of your time now and you should be doing more for the kids. The long hours you work and the amount of time you’ve been staying back recently is making him wonder if... well…he… He thinks we’re fucking each other.” Malcolm finished. He’d omitted the parts where James had said all sorts of really horrible things about Nicola. Despite Malcolm’s fearsome reputation there were some things he’d never say. He also failed to mention when James had threatened him in all manner of ways and the insults he’d hurled.

To Malcolm’s surprise, Nicola merely laughed at his last comment.

“He thinks we’re sleeping together?” she chortled.

While it did sound like genuine laughter, there was an ever so slight hint of nervousness in it. Her jittery response only furthered Malcolm’s suspicions. His mind went back to the memory of Eastbourne…

* * *

_The night of the Party Conference…_

_After a long day for all of them, the evening had begun with much needed drinks. The whole day had brought out the worst of Nicola and Malcolm at one time or another and yet they had both come out relatively unscathed. That is, except for the ever-mounting tension that seemed to still be building between them. It seemed to be rising exponentially ever since Nicola had invited Malcolm into that tiny bathroom. The way they had stood so close to each other, Nicola backed up against the sink, Malcolm’s body over hers, nearly touching. Their gazes locked as Malcolm with his intense, non-bollocking stare outlined exactly how they would sort things out. _

_Then later that night, Malcolm had escorted a rather tipsy Nicola back to her room while she lent on him more than they both knew was necessary… The unspoken comfort they got from being in such close physical proximity... The longing they saw when their eyes met as Malcolm’s hand slipped lower on Nicola’s back… _

* * *

He was pulled from his thoughts by Nicola’s nervous ramblings.

“Well I mean that’s… that’s just completely ridiculous, isn’t it? I don’t even know why I’m phrasing that as a question, it’s just silly. Of all the things to say I mean, that’s just, you know, so far from anything. I mean it’s not related or… he’s probably fucking his secretary it’d explain why she never answers the phone when I call.” She added more uncertain laughter to the end.

If Malcolm was confused or disappointed he showed in only for a fraction of a second. Nonetheless, Nicola caught that glimpse of uncertainty. They both had both felt something just then but with neither brave nor stupid enough to comment on it and so the moment passed.

Malcolm cleared his throat breaking the silence that had fallen between them.

“I’m sorry Nicola, you shouldn’t have to deal with any of that. James and you should be there for one another, not fighting about responsibilities. I erm, I didn’t realise the extent of James’ um twattery and I err… Well, I’m sorry that’s what you have to put up with at home. I know that I can be, well… but I’m doing my job and for the most part. I don’t always… I don’t necessarily mean everything personal I say.” He knew he was rambling now and before long he’d say something that he would regret. He switched back to what his brain knew best, political and media implications.

“Then again, getting a divorce would put you all over the papers again and I don’t think that’s something you want just now.”

Despite the return to more political centered matters Nicola reached out and held Malcolm’s arms while looking straight into his eyes and in a sincere tone said

“Thank you for being honest with me Malcolm.” He ignored his quickening heartbeat.

“Thank you Nicola.” He mumbled. It wasn’t something he wanted to everyone to hear. He could barely believe those words had passed his lips.

“What for?”

“For seeing me as a human being rather than a some kind of loathsome, violent, bloodthirsty monster.” How was it he could say these things to Nicola of all people?

“It’s the world we live in Malcolm, you have to come across like that a lot of the time. If it helps at all, you’re probably the hardest working person I know and I really respect that even if I get cross with you. James on the other hand…”

“He’s a cunt Nicola, you deserve so much better.” Since when had she become so astute to what was going on? When had she come to such insights about him?

Nicola averted her gaze from Malcolm eyes, choosing instead to look at their arms. She wasn’t quite sure when, but he had taken hold of her too.

“Says the man who called me an omnishambles during my first week.”

“That says very little about what I think of you as a person.” Malcolm replied curtly. She looked back up at him questioningly.

“Unwise as it may be to ask you, what do you think of me as a person?” Nicola asked shyly and braced herself for his answer telling her she was a smug middle class frump. Surely he’d exhausted his limit of nice things to say to her today? He couldn’t be consistently nice; it would feel too out of place. The answer she was expecting never came.

“Erm, well, you’re alright you know…”

“You said I came across smug!”

“I said you came across more smug than glum that doesn’t mean that I actually think you’re either of those things as a person!”

“You don’t?” She looked puzzled, perhaps even put off by this admission. 

“No, not really Nicola but it’s difficult. Things get taken out of context…. The relationship we have is anything but stable. This is politics Nicola and I can’t be nice to you all the time because I have a job to do. It’s horrific, it’s messy, and it’s brutal as well as incredibly isolating. I can’t sustain a normal fucking life and I’d only make everything worse if I tried. So yeah, I say some shit stuff sometimes and don’t respond to things in a normal human way but I don’t always mean things are literally or harshly as I may say them initially.”

She nodded and knew they both understood each other. If she was honest, there was something she actually liked about his bollockings… All that passion… When he was talking to James even, all that energy in his fury. It was then that Nicola realised that while Malcolm being kinder to her was a lovely reprieve, she didn’t think she could deal with it all the time. His anger and a passion was such a fundamental part of him and of them that if it were gone a huge part of his personality would be too. It seemed a strange part of her was drawn to that. It was passion in all the wrong ways, yet she was attracted to it by some strange instinct she couldn’t understand. It set off the determination and spirit inside her that made her want to prove herself. It was wrong, she knew, but it was a mixture of that fire and the tenderness that he’d just showed that would get her through. Nicola didn’t think there was anyone else that could give her that quite like Malcolm.

“Malcolm if I wanted a normal life I wouldn’t be here. If I was able to maintain some kind of stability and functional relationships I wouldn’t be in half the messes I end up in.”

That was when they both realised the extent to which their lives were fucked up and shared a brief sad but understanding smile. They both knew that they wouldn’t have it any other way.

Malcolm’s phone started ringing. It was a miracle it hadn’t rung earlier. He reached into his pocket and a moment before answering looked back at Nicola.

“Don’t just fucking stand there gawking, you’ve got a press conference to prepare for!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope people are enjoying this so far!  
Feedback is always appreciated, I'd love to know your thoughts. I realise this chapter probably has a rather different feel than the first but I hope that's ok. It's what happens when I come back to something I haven't looked at in ages... Another result of that is that this fic has grown considerably since I started writing it so there will be more. I promise more concrete plot sort of stuff will happen next chapter and things will get more Malcola-y as we progress.  
I hope everyone is staying well given the state of the world at the moment :)


	3. The Bathroom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have had this chapter sitting in my drafts nearly completed for far too long. I realised the date today and promised myself that no matter what I would get some more of this out on Friday the 13th. It was too good an opportunity to miss (again). As a result, I have not read through it all very carefully so sorry in advance for typos, weird grammar etc. 
> 
> This whole chapter was not part of the original plan for this but I was inspired by a line in one of FlorenceVassy's fics and I can't think which exact part it was rn but you should defo read her fics they are INCREDIBLE.
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Nicola was visibly stressed during the car trip. Being trapped in the back of a car between Malcolm and Ollie did little to calm her down. She didn’t generally get claustrophobic in cars but her current predicament was far from ideal. Despite her clear discomfort, neither Ollie nor Malcolm attempted to alleviate her stress. The former, was unsure what he should do, so alternated between checking his phone (on which nothing appeared to be happening) and gazing out the window feigning interest in the all too familiar urban London cityscape. Malcolm, on the other hand, did not wish to do anything that would appear out of character to comfort Nicola due to Ollie’s presence. He busied himself on his phone writing threatening texts to comfort himself. It also acted as an outlet for the anger he felt towards Ollie for not doing anything to help Nicola. 

As soon as they arrived Nicola excused herself and headed to the bathroom. It was mainly to remove some of the layers of makeup Terri had caked on before she left DoSAC, that and to attempt to tame her hair. Staring into the mirror, she looked nearly as ridiculous as she felt. Nicola felt around in her bag for makeup wipes, they were one of the things that she always made sure to have with her on the off chance that one day she might need them. This was that day, which in Nicola’s mind, justified all the previous days she had unnecessarily carried them around with her. However, upon opening the packet she discovered that there had been too many days between her preparing her bag for a multitude of eventualities and the day that it actually came in handy. The wipe, while maintaining its scent, had lost all its moisture. Nonetheless, it served as something to wipe her face with and seemed a much better alternative to toilet paper. Once finished, Nicola closed her eyes and took deep even breaths to try and calm herself down a little. She could do this. Even though she didn’t know the speech perfectly, she knew all the key points. Malcolm was on hand if anything went drastically wrong. Her heart rate seemed to have finally slowed a bit so she made her way toward the door to leave. As she leaned forwards to open it, the door burst open from the other side hitting her in the head.

“Fuck!” she shouted as she jumped back clamping her hand to where she’d been hit. Behind the door stood a rather alarmed looking Malcolm Tucker. He rushed to her aid grabbing her by the shoulders and trying to examine her head.

“Shit, I’m so, so, sorry Nicola.” She froze her hand slowly moving away from her face, revealing her eyes that were glaring at him in a manner that Malcolm thought seemed awfully similar to the look he gave ministers who’d fucked up. He had to admit, she did that look justice.

“Are you… erm… alright?” He asked meekly. Nicola took a breath before replying 

“I’ll be fine,” she muttered noncommittally, “just answer me this. Why the _ fuck _ were you running into the women’s bathroom!?” That launched Malcolm into defensive mode.

“To see what the fuck was taking you so long. Jesus Christ, I could’ve got into drag, pretended to be you and finished your speech in the time you’ve been in here! So what were you doing then? Trying to drown yourself in the fucking hand basin?”

“Drown myself in a hand basin?!” she asked incredulously, “have you seen the size of them? You can barely wash your hands in them, they're so shallow!”

“Yeah well, I wouldn’t put it past you to try.” 

“Listen, whatever I was doing is none of your business and in no way justifies you bursting in here the way you did. I mean what is _ really _ worse? A minister taking a bit longer in a bathroom, or a minister with a bruise forming on her forehead before a _ major fucking press conference?! _” Nicola yelled, her voice becoming higher and close to hysterical by the end.

“Look at me Nicola. I’m really, really sorry about what happened. It was an accident. I never meant to hurt you like that, I was just… worried...about you.” With that admission Nicola looked up at Malcolm.

“_ You _ were worried about _ me _?” 

Malcolm wished he hadn’t mentioned it now. He knew he felt far more strongly about Nicola that he ought to. She had a way of making him say or do things he regretted. It was almost uncontrollable at times. Nicola made Malcolm _ feel _ so deeply it scared him. He belatedly realised that this was one of those moments but continued to stare into her eyes. When he broke her gaze he found his voice again.

“Is there anything I can do, to um, help at all?” He added lamely. 

“Just give me a minute would you?”

For once, Malcolm complied with her wishes without question. Nicola remained silent, remembering all the times Malcolm had managed to piss her off or mess her around. All the times she’d felt nothing but contempt for the man, the horrible things he’d done or worse, made her do. The flipside of that being all the times he’d made her laugh and genuinely helped improve her mood. The few times he’d been properly supportive, the times when he had actually behaved more like a human being allowed Nicola a glimpse of what he might be like away from all of this. Mainly, the way he’d looked at her just now. If it hadn’t been Malcolm looking at her like that, she’d have described it as ‘adoringly’. This was Malcolm though so she felt rather lost. He’d been yelling at her one moment and saying he cared about her the next. All the while staring at her as if she were the only thing that mattered in the whole world. It felt like one giant mixed symbol and it frustrated Nicola to no end. Honestly,_ fuck him _, she thought. Nicola knew there was no way she could form a coherent sentence to describe her conflicted feelings toward him at the moment. 

Instead, she took an approach she’d only ever daydreamed about. There really were a multitude of really awful consequences her actions could have but Nicola was not considering them anymore. She was stressed, frustrated, her head hurt from where she’d been hit and now Malcolm was messing around with her feelings. Nicola looked Malcolm right in the eye and slapped him across the face rendering him utterly shocked. It wasn’t particularly hard but it was completely unexpected.

“You bastard!” She shouted. She tried to add more but her mouth just opened and closed like a goldfish. 

Malcolm remained speechless and merely stared at her before blinking slowly. 

Nicola Murray had slapped him in the face. Nicola ‘Omnishambles’ Murray. Both of them appeared incapacitated by shock. 

Time passed. Neither of them knew how long it had been. Nicola was staring at the floor colour rising in her face. Despite it all, she began to giggle. Then she raised her head and smiled cheekily. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for quite a while now,” she admitted. No matter what happened next, Nicola was glad she’d had the chance to do that, even if it was just once. Fuck her policies and speeches, she’d slapped Malcolm Tucker, the ‘all swearing eye’ in the face and it had felt incredible. For the moment, she was enjoying riding the high.

“Oh really?” Malcolm asked, one eyebrow raised.

“Absolutely.” Malcolm was staring again, his expression unreadable. Nicola faltered and opened her mouth to begin what would’ve become a trademark Nicola Murray ramble. Fortunately, Malcolm interrupted, 

“Oh well that’s just great, isn’t it?”

“Is it?” Nicola looked up, genuinely surprised, not quite registering Malcolm’s sarcasm. 

“I’m so glad I could indulge that particular fantasy of yours Nicola.” 

“Malcolm, I didn’t mean-” 

“Are there any others you’d like to share with me? You never know, perhaps and see if I could assist you with eh?” Malcolm adopted a softer tone of voice and Nicola had to look away. He moved closer to her and gently raised her chin so she was looking into his eyes once again.

Although she tried very hard not to, Nicola could feel her blush deepening. Somehow, she managed to form a reply. 

“There may be, one or two…” Nicola broke the stare, her gaze flickered to his lips for a split second. She leaned ever so slightly closer to him. Malcolm noticed this but his brain had begun functioning again and realised that this really wasn’t the time or place for whatever was going on between them. Perhaps if he didn’t put a name to it, he could pretend it hadn’t happened.

“Later.” He pulled his head back a little, not entirely sure how it had gotten so close in the first place.

“Huh?” Nicola replied dazed.  
“Press Conference, remember? I don’t think having your lipstick smeared all over our faces would be a particularly good look, do you?” Malcolm raised an eyebrow and waited for a response. It took Nicola a moment. She blinked, his words finally sinking in and drawing her away from their moment. 

“Yes, of course. Sorry. Oh god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t-”

“Save it darlin’. Now, let’s just make sure you’re ready to go alright? Take some deep breaths. Good. Make sure you’ve calmed down, get yourself together however you need to. I’ll wait outside.” With that, Malcolm strolled out of the bathroom leaving Nicola to her thoughts.

Nicola couldn’t help but feel that had been a missed opportunity. She couldn’t believe she had so quickly dismissed thoughts of her loyalty toward her family. How in that moment she would quite happily have kissed Malcolm Tucker of all people. Okay, maybe ‘happy’ was a stretch. That wasn’t the point though because her family should not have flown out of her head like that. Even now, with her brain slightly clearer all she could think about was the way her mind had turned blissfully blank. Her worries and anxieties hadn’t been at the forefront and it had been utterly intoxicating. Nicola looked back at the mirror again studying her reflection and contemplating what sort of person she was. 

All Nicola wanted was for the day to be over, enough had happened already, she wished she could be back home relaxing on the sofa without a care in the world. Her mind conjured up an image of Malcolm and her cuddling together without saying a word, just being together in a calm environment away from it all. She relished the thought, unrealistic as it was and made her way out of the bathroom to face the real Malcolm in their harsh and chaotic world. 

Malcolm didn’t look up from his phone as Nicola exited the bathroom. He gave her a brief glance to say

“Right, everything’s ready, come on.” They walked down several corridors in silence until they reached a double door. 

“You ready?” Malcolm asked.

“As I’ll ever be.” Nicola replied as confidently as she could muster.

“That’s my girl.” Whispered Malcolm as he opened one of the doors for her.

Just before she entered, Malcolm genuinely smiled at her and Nicola thought that perhaps her imagination hadn’t run too wild before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Other notes:  
-I have been in a completely different mindset every time I have written this fic so honestly if it seems lacking in continuity or really changeable style-wise etc. then that's why. It was never meant to take this long, I still remember thinking it'd be a fun little fic to write... That was about a year ago... My writing style has changed in that time.  
-I have no idea when or if more of this will happen tbh, I have some tentative stuff written but as you can probably tell, it takes me ages to actually finish anything.  
\- Thank you for reading! :)


End file.
